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First ChildJokes: Doctors

A man speaks frantically into the phone, "My wife is pregnant, and her contractions are only two minutes apart!"

"Is this her first child?", asked the doctor.

"No, you idiot!" the man shouts. "This is her husband!"

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ExaminationJokes: Doctors

An attractive young woman, chaperoned by an ugly old lady, entered the doctor's office. "We have come for an examination", said the young woman.

"Alright," said the doctor. "Go behind that curtain and take your clothes off".

"No, not me," said the woman. "It's my old aunt here".

"Very well... Madam, put your tongue out".

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Bad NewsJokes: Doctors

A man walks into the doctor's office and is told "I have some bad news and some very bad news". The patient says: "Well, might as well give me the bad news first". "The lab called with your test results. They said you have 24 hours to live", the doctor responds.

Frantically, the patient screams "24 HOURS! That's terrible! WHAT could be worse? What's the very bad news?". The doctor then meekly responds: "I've been trying to reach you since yesterday".

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