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LotteryJokes: Women

A woman rushes into her house one morning and yells to her husband,

"Sam, pack up your stuff. I just won the lottery!"

"Shall I pack for warm weather or cold?"

"Whatever. Just so you're out of the house by noon!"

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Favorite AnimalsJokes: Women

What are a woman's four favorite animals?

A mink in the closet, a Jaguar in the garage, a tiger in the bedroom, and a Jackass to pay for it all.

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Girls Night OutJokes: Women

Two women had gone out for a Girls Night Out, and had been a little eager on the cocktails.

Incredibly drunk and walking home they need to pee. They were very near a graveyard and one of them suggested they do their business there.

The first woman had nothing to wipe with so she took off her panties, and used them and threw them away. Her friend however was wearing an expensive underwear set and didn't want to ruin hers, but was lucky enough to salvage a large ribbon from a wreath that was on a grave and proceeded to wipe herself with it. After finishing, they made there way home.

The next day the first woman's husband phones the other husband and said, "These damn girls night out have got to stop. My wife came home last night without her panties."

"That's nothing," said the other. "Mine came back with a card stuck between the cheeks of her butt that said, `From all of us at the Fire Station. We'll never forget you'".

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